Breaking Stereotypes: Empowered Women
Leading the Way as Funeral Directors
Blog #002 in the “With The End In Mind” Series
For Families Experiencing Grief
Now, perhaps before we continue, it might just be prudent for me to say that in no way are my words designed to be ‘anti men’ or the incredible work that they do within the funeral industry - in fact this blog is not ‘anti’ anything!
This is about ‘cheerleading’ the women that I have been privileged to meet and work alongside along with the opportunity of, perhaps, opening your eyes and minds to a slightly different approach when it comes to making funeral care decisions.
Death will always be a difficult time for those left behind.
And this will always be true . . . whatever the circumstances of the passing.
Perhaps it comes as a huge shock with a sudden and unexpected death, or, maybe, brings an enormous sense of loss often associated with the passing of a parent or an elderly relative . . . or sometimes there’s even a slight sense of relief when someone who has suffered unimaginable pain is now at peace.
Whatever the situation, however you are feeling and how long these feelings last will always be individual . . .
(and, just so you know . . . it’s absolutely okay to feel all the feelings ♡)
But, whenever there’s a death to cope with, it’s likely that your world will feel as though it’s been turned upside down which can make the choices that have to be considered and the decisions that are needed to be made extremely tricky to navigate.
Added to this, for many, this will be their first time dealing with the professionals connected with the funeral industry.
One which, traditionally, has always been dominated by men.
So, if I were to say the word “funeral” I’m sure, in your mind’s eye, you’ll get a stereotypical image of a stoic man, dressed in a dark morning suit wearing (or carrying) a top hat whilst walking in front of an equally dark coloured hearse.
. . . Was I right?
Yet, what I am discovering as I settle into my role within the ‘world of funerals’ is that a shift is taking place.
Women working within the funeral industry have always held an incredibly valuable role in supporting the newly bereaved.
They are usually the first point of contact for them and then continue to offer support and guidance in arranging the funeral incorporating all of the elements that the family want.
In fact, having being previously employed as a funeral arranger was the first step on my journey to doing the work I am now!
Now, if we were to look at the definition of a “funeral director”,
the Cambridge Dictionary states that this is:
“The owner of a funeral home
Someone who organises funerals and prepares bodies . . . “
But I would suggest that it’s a role that goes way further
And one, where, I see, women bringing something much bigger than this definition to the table . . .
It goes without saying that, by their very nature, women tend to have more nurturing and intuitive qualities which enable them to have a deeply compassionate understanding of supporting others through the grieving process.
They bring a much needed empathetic and unique perspective as they guide families through one of life’s most difficult journeys. And they’re experts at supporting families within a safe space so thyr to fully express their emotions providing a safe space for families to fully express their emotions, while feeling supported and understood.
Alongside their passion in creating personalised and creative ceremonies, they often have a willingness to go above and beyond what’s considered the ‘norm’ in funeral standards, although always ensuring that each aspect of the funeral process will be handled with care and respect.
Many are, not only, making a difference in the lives of grieving families but are also helping to reshape societal perceptions around death and mourning.
They’re really good at encouraging open conversations about grief through fostering a culture of empathy, understanding and support for individuals and families alike.
Many see this aspect of their work as essential . . . that goes way beyond the arrangement of funerals as they guide families through the healing process as well as creating a lasting legacy for their loved ones.
As I write these words, I can see all of these qualities within 4 women funeral directors, in particular, that I’ve had the pleasure of working with.
Each of them is incredibly unique.
They all have different backgrounds and work experiences and each has made their journey into becoming a Funeral Director for individual reasons and means.
Yet what I notice is that they all exude this warmth and caring nature that, I believe, would be incredibly comforting to any newly bereaved person.
They all manage to convey a sense that they have ‘all the time in the world’ . . . just for you and they’re really listening to everything you’re telling them and that, somehow, everything is going to be ok.
And, what I’m particularly in awe of is that they see their role as one that goes way beyond the funeral itself.
One decided that she wanted a ‘softer’ image and took a step away from the stereotypical black vehicle fleet. She has a very ‘non funeral’ logo which adorns her business premises and van that she offers for community events and the support of organisations within her local town.
She also organises regular ‘coping with grief’ sessions as well as supporting other community based projects that she and her team regularly attend.
And another empowered woman who had a background within funeral administration knew that she wanted to offer families more than she was previously able to and, through amazing synchronicities, was able to purchase a small, but established, rural firm of funeral directors.
She has set about transforming and enlivening not only the premises but the care and support packages that are on offer and, in a recent proposed expansion, is also considering grief support work for her families.
Image kindly supplied.
Find out more about Sam here:
And, I love the conviction of another one of these women. She had worked within the funeral industry for a number of years but objected to some of the practices that were being changed.
She knew that she could offer families the highest of standards and decided to set up on her own.
From scratch.
And seeing the dedication with which she creates ceremonies is inspiring to say the least.
And finally, our last extraordinary funeral director is one who is experienced in working within all the areas of a large funeral directors.
She works behind the scenes, so to speak, caring and preparing the deceased for their funerals ensuring they are treated with respect and dignity at all times.
She also has an on call commitment too, meaning she is always available to collect the recently deceased 24 hours a day and is therefore the first point of contact for many newly bereaved families. She forms part of the bearers team but, increasingly, she is asked to lead funerals by families who admire her integrity and attention to detail.
Images kindly supplied.
Find out more about this Sam here:
I hope this has given you a little flavour of how some incredible women are bringing important new and innovative changes to, not only the role of funeral director, but the funeral industry as a whole.
There are incredible benefits in choosing one to care for your loved one and to support you through a time of loss and grief . . .
because these empowered funeral directors really are really making a difference.
